Compassion is the End of Polarization

Compassion is the End of Polarization

 

If anything the last few years has taught us, is that we are easily polarized. When placed under the right conditions, our fear and powerlessness tend to turn to rigidity and righteousness, and suddenly, our friend becomes our enemy. We face many problems, but when we succumb to polarization, whether it be in our families and communities or governments and religions, the problems only get worse.

 

We polarize because in the moment, we feel our viewpoint provides the only solution possible to a problem. Anything to appease the uncertainty surrounding us. We develop solutions by gathering from the facts, circumstances, research, anecdotes, opinions, stories and statements of others. These sources used to come from our governments, our media, our scholars. Now, because we have access to more information and events around the globe, we develop our expertise from anywhere we can catch a well-crafted soundbite. Through detailed research or carefully cultivated algorithms, we find our solutions anywhere we can get them. When we do find a solution we settle into a deeper sense of safety. We find comradeship in people who think the same way. We find community in groups that believe the same philosophy. Or at the very least, we feel safe enough to not be rejected by our community. Belonging is one of the strongest motivators of human behaviour. So it is no surprise that we adopt beliefs that guarantee our acceptance in our chosen communities.

 

Sometimes, those communities turn us into packs. We are one pack and whoever believes differently than us is the “other.”

 

We polarize because we have been encouraged to believe that the “other” side will cause even more uncertainty and problems. “They” will bring about a disastrous future for me, my family, my community, or my country. And it may be true. Dangerous people and harmful ideologies do exist. Those who willfully bring harm to individuals and communities for personal, political or economic reasons, are a danger to the wellness of the whole.

 

Not surprisingly, most individuals would agree that these dangers to society must be stopped. This agreement, regardless of “pack,” seems simple enough to accomplish in theory. If we look at the polarizing pattern emerging out of the last couple of years, it is clearly not so easily carried out. For instance, we are not all rallying behind one solitary good to eradicate one solitary evil. It would be so simple if human beings all had the same notion of good and evil. Or had the same idea of how to handle said evil. We do not. The infinite range of beliefs, choices and preferences, that exist on the spectrum between good and evil are about as numerous as the colours between black and white. We are complex beings. And our individual moral and political viewpoints make our choices even more complex.

 

And that complexity can be stressful. Especially when trying to find a way to bring peace and safety to our world.

When faced with a problem, like stopping those dangers to society, the sheer number of possible solutions are almost too much to handle. Our stress levels go up, our choices go down. Instead of becoming expansive and able to respond, we collapse in indecision. It is far easier to choose between one or two choices than an infinite number. Whether or not we know how these choices emerged doesn’t matter. It has been presented as a way to solve a problem and find belonging. So we choose. And suddenly find ourselves polarized.

 

Polarization emerges out of fear. When we respond to situations from fear, our need to defend is strong. And the more we defend something, the more that stance becomes ingrained in our belief structure. No longer are we merely defending our position. Now, we are fighting for our lives. The more we defend, the more we believe. The more we believe, the more we think our way is truth. The more we hold to our truth, the more rigid we become. Is it not true that the moment someone disagrees with our truth, we become riled up and ready to rid them of their folly? If I am defending myself from danger and you are defending yourself from danger, then how can we see each other’s truth? There is a common rule in many households that “we don’t talk religion or politics at the dinner table” for a reason.

 

Being easily riled and quick to defend makes us extremely vulnerable to manipulation. There is nothing wrong with having beliefs and personal truths. And there is nothing wrong with defending your position. But what if someone else is benefitting from your angst? What if your fighting energy is being harnessed and used to forward someone else’s agenda? If you find yourself angry and needing to stand up for your position, ask yourself how it happened. Stop and listen to your body. How did you go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds? How did this person become your enemy in a heartbeat?

 

This fierce defensive reaction is your bodies’ response to survival fear.

 

Somehow you believe you are being threatened and your entire body goes into protection mode. This can show up as fight or flight, (as developed by Walter Cannon) or freeze or fawn. Every one of us has experienced this type of behaviour, whether we were aware of it or not. Science has shown us that our response to danger is powerful and instinctual. Survival fear is strong.


The events of the last few years have triggered a lot of survival fear.

If the rise in polarization has been caused by deep seated survival fear, then that means our friends, relatives, and even our enemies, are walking around just trying to survive. They are dealing with high levels of stress hormones rushing through their bodies, making them tired, aggravated, overstimulated, and irritable. This is what is underlying all the polarization. Two seemingly opposing sides are surviving the best way they know how.

 

The answer to polarization then, is compassion. We polarize when we feel we have no other way. We polarize when we feel powerless. We polarize because we want things to change. Does this not deserve our compassion?

 

Humanity is dealing with fear and powerlessness on a such a level that it is literally killing us. No wonder we choose righteous defense over feelings of despair. Our fiery rage feels downright good when compared to the heavy drain of hopelessness. When we recognize that fear is what we all have in common, our polarization begins to subside. Our opposing truths, beliefs or standpoints are not the problem. The survival fear beneath it all is what is causing the widening gap between human beings.

 

Humanity is in crisis. It is no secret. But human beings from every walk of life have been living in crisis for so long now, that individuals may not recognize how it is showing up in their lives. Being in stressful overload seems normal. Living in fear of cataclysm or climate change seems normal. Living in isolated silos has become normal. War seems normal. None of these things are normal. Finding ways to lessen the stress in our lives is vital to our wellbeing and our overall survival.

 

Compassion is the key to ending survival fear. But we must start with ourselves.

 

Self-care is no fluffy remedy. As the persistent polarization of our population has taught us, we cannot change anyone else. We can only change ourselves. And ridding your body, mind, and emotions of chronic stress and fear is the only way you and the rest of humanity will find sustainable wellness.

Use the tools that lessen stress.

Go to the land and breathe fresh air.

Find your joy and laughter.

And most of all, be compassionate with your uncertainty and powerlessless.

 

In Indigenous teachings, we cultivate physical and spiritual wellness in ourselves because we know we have a responsibility to our communities. Our understanding of life means we are interconnected to all other beings in every way. What happens to one, is experienced by all. We are meant to lift each other up. To live in a harmonious way with each other and with Life itself, we must find harmony within ourselves. And harmony is born out of compassion.

 

Compassion is the end of polarization because self-compassion is the end of stress and separation.

You are the key.

Be compassionate with yourself and watch what happens to the world around you.

 

Honouring Your Four Bodies

What does Honouring your Four Sacred Bodies mean?

In my training content through the Sacred Feminine Learning Lodge, I offer many medicine wheel teachings. They are wrapped in various packages that reflect how I see the world. The way the wisdom has been translated though me is unique and sometimes needs unpacking. The questions I get most when clients discover my “Honouring the Four Sacred Bodies” course are: “What does honouring mean from an Indigenous perspective?” or “What are my four bodies and why do I need to honour them?”

Great questions!

Today, I’m breaking down Honouring the Four Sacred Bodies.

In Indigenous teachings, we see the world through a wholistic lens where all things are interconnected. We are connected to the waters, to the land, to the stars, to each other. Something affecting one aspect of life always affects the rest in direct or indirect ways. It’s a comforting perspective if you focus on the fact that through this lens, everything matters. You matter. Your life and your choices are not small. They affect the whole of Creation.

A wonderful tool to help contextualize this wholistic lens is the medicine wheel.

 

Medicine Wheel

 

It is a circle with four equal parts. Although the medicine wheel isn’t a pan-Indigenous symbol that spans Turtle Island, it is very useful in representing the Indigenous way of thinking. All of life is contained in a giant circle, with no parts bigger or more important than any other.

Some common references used in Indigenous medicine wheel teachings from the plains are terms like:

  • the four directions, (east, south, west and north)

  • the four medicines, (sage, sweetgrass, tobacco, and cedar)

  • the four bodies (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual)

  • the four phases of life (infancy, youth, adult, elder)

  • the four elements, (earth, fire, water and air)

These various four aspects are used in ceremonial teachings of all kinds. I use them all the time. I have been taught that when we stand at the centre of the medicine wheel, we have the capacity to encompass the entire teaching and wisdom contained in each aspect all at once.

This is deep work.

 Ways of honouring

I have discovered that ways of honouring have cultural significance, and are understood through varying definitions and practises. Although many of us believe that honour involves bestowing high esteem on someone or something, there are different cultural understandings.

Many western populations believe honour is given to and practised by those who adhere to an accepted code of conduct or to those who have done military service of some kind. There are medals and awards ceremonies to show honour to deserving recipients.

Indigenous ways of honouring are a little different. We tend to make the ordinary, sacred. We elevate the status of something or someone in a way that surpasses respect and lives more in the land of reverence. The one giving the honour focuses on lifting up and admiring the qualities, behaviours, and sacred nature of the subject being honoured. Honouring, in this way, is an act of love. One can bestow honour with gifts, words, recognition, love, songs, and ceremonies. For example, to show our gratitude for the gift of life, we honour the Earth. Or we honour a young woman as a Lifegiver, when she starts her moon time.

When we honour something, our regard for that thing changes. Our hearts lift in appreciation and our very countenance softens. When we honour ourselves, we soften and transform the dysfunctional ways we’ve rejected our very natures. Honouring is good medicine.

Communicating with the four bodies

The four sacred bodies are the physical body, the emotional body, the mental body, and the spiritual body. Other traditions or philosophies may have five bodies, or seven bodies, but I keep to the four parts of the circle. Every single human being has four sacred bodies operating in their lives.

Most of us have a dominant body that tends to be our fallback operating system, but all four bodies are available to us if we develop our awareness. For instance, a person with a dominant mental body may not be aware that they get injured a lot. Or a person with a dominant emotional body may not notice that their thoughts are the root cause of their painful reactions. All four bodies affect us, and it is up to us to develop a relationship with each one.

Dealing with trauma

If you are a human living in this world today, you have most likely experienced trauma. This has caused fragmentation from our knowledge of our sacred nature. Whether that fragmentation came from histories of colonization, war, poverty, or catastrophe, chances are you have been shaped from lineages of trauma.

We may not necessarily be operating as a healed and wholistic being, but we can learn to be. We are all capable of being whole. And one of the many ways is though the honouring of the four sacred bodies. Learning to listen to your physical body, emotional body, mental body, and spiritual body is a valuable step in becoming whole. There are gems that these bodies want to teach you.

There are ways your four bodies are trying to communicate with you.

All you have to do is listen.

Acknowledge.

And honour.

Remember, honouring is making the ordinary, sacred. In the act of honouring your four sacred bodies, you change your regard for your body’s reactions and sensations. A sore back or a tendency to weep, may have been seen as everyday boring, or banal and ordinary. But when bestowed with honour and respect, suddenly, those signals mean something, and are worthy of your attention.

 So, find out how your body wants to communicate with you.

 Find out how to honour your self.

Sit down and have a chat with each of the bodies and see what they have to say. I know you will find that they have a lot to say.

 

 

Sing Your Water Songs

I’ve been taught that women+ everywhere are supposed to pick up their Water Songs and sing to the waters to heal the earth and humanity. In an attempt to make this call from the Elders easier… I’ve written a giveaway Water Song so the Lifegivers everywhere can sing their songs. That means this song has been given to you.

You may not know your people’s water songs or you feel like you don’t have one.

Sing this one. You are welcome.

Just sing with a prayerful heart. Please sing this song and if you desire, translate it into your own language.


You can sing this song to a glass of water (renew.)

You can sing this song to honour a person who may be drowning in sorrow (retreat.)

You can sing this to a dry river bed that hasn’t seen water for several seasons (return.)

You can sing this song to a place where flooding is happening (retreat.)

You can sing this to an ocean full of plastic (renew.)

Just sing it!


Here are the lyrics in English:

“May the waters of me…. Hiy hiy

Sing for the waters of you. Hiy hiy

I offer this prayer and this honouring song.

So the waters right here “retreat” (or “renew” or “return.”)

Retreat. Retreat. Retreat. Retreat. So the waters right here retreat.


To download Water Prayer Song or listen to various translations, please go to:

Water Prayer Song written by Andrea Menard, 2021

Stumbling Path to Authenticity

 

In these tumultuous times, there is a heightened demand for authentic leadership. We, as a collective, want to see individual people, especially our leaders, walk their talk and show up in the world with accountability and transparency. It comes from being lied to. It comes from secrets being kept from sight. It comes from shady versions of truth being fed as truth from all our institutions. And the worst part, is that we don’t know who to trust anymore.


I write this blog in response to another recent case of false identity in the Indigenous community. We have learned of another person who has taken on Indigenous ancestry, when they have none. There is nothing more important to Indigenous people than authenticity. It is a deep value, hard earned from a world that has been inauthentic from the start.

 

In an attempt to be totally transparent, I want to shine light on my own authenticity or inauthenticity along my journey. Many Métis people, and light skinned non-status Indigenous people are uncomfortable in their own skins right now. The recent events have triggered a long-standing fear of not being enough. Not being brown enough. Not being white enough. Not Indigenous enough. Not culturally aware enough. I am no different. And because of this fear of not being enough, there are many moments of inauthenticity. Of trying to fade into the background. Of trying to take the spotlight. Of trying to prove I’m enough. Of trying to hide unflattering aspects of myself. There are too many to name.

 

So I’m writing this blog.

 

A blog about tracing these moments of inauthenticity and cleaning up any lingering pieces of shame trapped in my body and spirit. I, as a public figure, must stand in my own skin with pride and authenticity to be of genuine service to others. That’s what I was taught that honourable leaders must do.

 

 When it comes to my identity as an Indigenous person, which is of extreme value in the conversations occurring in our communities, I’d like to proclaim my ancestry here. I identify as a Métis person. I am a mixed blood who has more European ancestry than First Nations ancestry, but I still identify as Métis. And I look Caucasian. There is no hiding it.

 

My Métis side of the family comes from Red River, and our roots originate in St. Laurent, Manitoba. We are French Michif. My Mémère (paternal grandmother), Delia Bedard, was born in St. Laurent. Along with her mother, Agnes Larence, who was a Lagamodiere. Agnes married Alfred Allard, who died early, and then married Alfred Bedard, who was supposed to have come from the Great Lakes region (Michigan?)

My Pepère (paternal grandfather), George Menard, was born in Woodlands, Manitoba. He was of French Canadian ancestry, with a distant connection to an Algonquin woman, named Marie Miteouawegoutkoue. Four brothers came to Manitoba from Quebec. The Menard’s from Camperville, Manitoba come from Joseph Menard line and the Menard’s from Fisher Branch come from Simon Menard line. We come from the Simon Menard line. My maternal grandfather, William Winterton, was an English-Irish settler born in Dauphin, Manitoba, who settled in Flin Flon, Manitoba. His mother and father came to Canada from England and Ireland. My maternal grandmother, was an Icelandic settler who was born in Gimli, Manitoba (??), we think.

 

None of this information was known to me or of interest to me for many, many years. 

 

Like many light-skinned Métis people, who did not grow up with deep cultural roots to identity, there are moments of confusion, inauthenticity and misrepresentation along my journey. As well as moments of transparency, profound clarity, and pride. It comes from two opposing, shame-based perceptions that I developed or inherited. One, I felt ashamed of being part Indigenous, and two, I felt equally ashamed of being mostly Caucasian. Shame makes us retreat from our true selves and forces us onto a path of inauthenticity.

 

 As I look back over my life, I see several key events that profoundly shaped my identity and a shift in outlook and behaviour.

 

The first one took place when I was in Grade 5 (I think.) I don’t remember the teacher’s name. I don’t remember the students sitting next to me in the classroom. But I remember the visceral reaction in my body like it was yesterday. (It could be because I moved around a lot that I’m not sure if it took place was in Thompson, Manitoba or Prince Albert, Saskatchewan.)

My teacher was talking about the Métis and the Riel “Rebellion.” I was one of those kids who knew they were Métis but had no context for what that meant. There was no shame. But there was also no real pride either. The only thing I knew for sure, was that I was Métis and that I was related to Louis Riel somehow. It was just a fact with no consequences. I was not discriminated because of skin colour, or language or accent. I was incredibly privileged to pass for an average Canadian kid, which meant I was as safe as I could get.

When my teacher spoke about Louis Riel, I piped up innocently that I was related to him. With no hesitation or concern for the repercussions of her words, she said, “I wouldn’t brag about that. He was a traitor.”

Silence. Then the other kids laughed and pointed at me, whispering “Traitor. Traitor.” The teacher went on like nothing happened.

But to me, two very important things happened at once. One, I was flooded with shame. Deep shame that filled me from my head to my toes. And two, I was overcome with an inexplicable rage. A heat travelled up my spine but instead of getting released with words or feelings, it lodged in my throat as my voice clamped shut.

 

In one brief shameful interaction, I became both identified and vilified as Métis. I had spoken my truth and been punished for it. And I wanted to hide. I knew in my soul that my teacher was wrong, but I also knew that I was somehow flawed and if I didn’t shut my mouth, my sense of belonging and safety would vanish. So I decided to hide it. This was my first recollection of inauthenticity.

 

Little did I know that I was repeating a pattern that has played out in many Métis families since we began as a people.

 

I don’t remember much about what happened after. All I know is that I buried this profound awakening and proceeded to be as white as I possibly could. It wasn’t hard. I looked the part and most of my family members were white. My white privilege served me very well. For the first time, however, being “white,” which had been just part of my heritage until then, became inauthentic. Now…I was hiding.

 

The next inauthentic event happened was when I was in the Canadian Armed Forces. I was 19 years old. I was an administrative clerk in the North Saskatchewan Regiment who worked full time in the Sgt. Hugh Cairn VC Armoury as a Recruiting clerk.


It was 1990, and the Oka Crisis was happening. I watched with horror, as members of the Canadian Armed Forces caused harm to people defending their own land. All around me, fellow members of the military, who I considered friends, were condoning these actions and slandering the Mohawk people in vicious ways. I identified with the Mohawk people because somewhere in my lineage I remembered what it felt like to be militarily outnumbered and helpless to stop the slander and hate. I was filled with a rage. And as before, it was accompanied by an all-encompassing shame. I did not publicly criticize the army’s behaviour. I learned very quickly that I was not allowed to have an opinion either way. So I didn’t. I did not defend. I did not speak up. I just continued to recruit for an initiative that recruited Indigenous youth for a 6 week military training program. I was so ashamed. Yet I continued to walk around with an inauthentic smile on my face, refusing to rock the boat to maintain my safety and freedom. Once again, my privilege served me well. But my inauthentic complicit behaviour made me retreat into myself.

 

 

Over the years, my courage grew, and I publicly identified more and more with my Métis heritage. Especially through the music. Music and storytelling were in my blood. And I came by it naturally having a dad who was the “King of the Kitchen Party.” This was also something I took for granted. Music was a big part of my life growing up, but the more I talked to relatives, elders, historians, and learned more about my own family, the more I realized that music was our cultural expression. We were French Michif who stopped speaking the language when my dad was born. My dad may not have grown up with the language or stories, but it was my dad who kept the music alive.

 

At 25 years old, I chose to make the arts my career path. I had chosen to become an actor and a singer. At first I was happy singing other people’s songs and acting in plays written by other playwrights. That changed when I began to be haunted by a wilful character who would one day become the Velvet Laurent. The Velvet Devil was my one-woman musical, about a Métis character from the 1930s who struggled with identity and had turned her back on her people to become a star in the big city. This Métis diva came to me in dreams, visions and nightmares and demanded to be heard. She wanted her story of cultural repression and expression told.

 

So I told her story. Or my story I guess.


Velvet was a character that could face the shame I felt, and wrestle with the real life struggles I was having trouble confronting. And the song, Halfbreed Blues, was the quintessential healing song about facing one’s internalized racism and shame.

 

It was my journey back to authenticity.

 

I spoke my truth. My struggles with identity were now well documented and very public and somehow, The Velvet Devil became my calling card. I was that light-skinned Métis person with tons of privilege and tons of self-doubts. Without planning to, my transparent, reclamation story of pain and shame had created a niche for myself in the theatre and television industries.

 

So began the chapter of playing Indigenous characters with major identity crises.

 

Identity and cultural reclamation must have been the subject in our collective conscious during the 1990s and early 2000s, because in both theatre and film, there were many similarly themed projects being produced. I was asked to play one light-skinned Indigenous character after another who struggled with shame, disconnection and self-rejection, or characters who triumphed through cultural teachings and family reconnection.

 

I was blessed to be a working actor and I was astonished that there was a place for me. But somewhere along the way, my public notoriety gave me access to roles that shouldn’t have been mine. I had stopped being just the self-rejecting halfbreed and ended up playing ordinary First Nations characters. I am not First Nations. And yes, in some cases I was invited specifically by a community to represent them, but in other cases, I was not. Without checking my own privilege, I reached for parts and personas that belonged to someone else. And not surprisingly, I began to suffer more and more from feelings of “not being Indigenous enough.” I wanted to be more culturally connected. I wanted to be more than Métis. And for a time, I was inauthentically over-identifying with First Nations culture.

 

I had veered off my path of authenticity.

 

But it was different this time. Now I was running in the other direction. Now I was ashamed of my European blood. This very obvious, light-skinned person was trying to hide her very visible heritage. (Sigh.) Like I said, shame makes people behave in embarrassing ways.

 

But on my journey back to authenticity, I got my ass kicked. Very soundly!

 

 

The ass-kicking occurred in two ways. One, I got a laser-like scolding by a Cree woman who said I was rejecting my white ancestors and I had to smarten up! And two, I had a prophetic dream.

 

The scolding was profound and life changing because I really respected this Cree woman. She was a pipe-carrier with deep traditional wisdom and a seer. All I wanted was to be accepted by her. To become some version of a perfect Indigenous student of traditional ways, so that I would finally be “enough.”

 

But that was never the point.

 

She knew that was enough…if I would just stop trying to be who I was not.

 

She was the first person to say, “You should go to Europe and find out where your ancestors’ bones are resting. They have a story to tell too.” I didn’t want to hear anything she had to say about the subject of my whiteness. It embarrassed me. But, of course, that was the point! I was missing the obvious.

 

She also told me that my Spirit was here to clean things up, “Not everyone on this earth has the capacity to walk backwards and heal their lineages, but you are meant to. You are a bridge. You can’t be a bridge if you ignore who you are.”

 

Like I said, she was very wise.

 

(Eventually I did go to Europe. And guess what? Those bones did have a story to tell. A painful and important one. A story for another time.)

 

It took a while for those wise words to sink in and change my behaviour away from inauthenticity. It was the prophetic dream that finally got through to me.

 

The dream was one of the most important messages I have received from the Spirit World. And it had the power to change the trajectory of my path.

 

It started with a snow-capped mountain on a bright sunny day.

 

In the dream, I was walking up a flat but steep, snow-covered mountain with a group of Indigenous people. We were a small community, maybe a few families with only a few children, led by a white haired wizened old, old man. He was wise and deeply serene man with wrinkles like deep caverns on his face and piercing eyes that struck you to the core. His presence was intense. Under the bright sun, in similarly dressed old fashioned hides, each one of us pulled a toboggan up that mountain. It was a difficult climb. For some reason my toboggan had very little weight and was much lighter than everyone else’s. This made me feel uncomfortable. I kept trying to place other people’s loads on mine, thinking I was supposed to carry the same weight as everyone else. But the old man, with the piercing eyes, stopped me and said. “This is not your load to carry.” And he pointed to the very top of the mountain. “That is your path.”

 

And with a heavy heart, I let my toboggan go. I watched it skid down the mountain back the way we had come. I turned to look up the mountain. I didn’t want to go. Not without the people I knew and loved. Not on my own.

But I had to go. The kindness and sorrow in the old man’s eyes told me it was true. He waited. The all did. They waited for me to have the courage to walk on alone. Without them. It was the saddest decision I had ever made. But on I walked.

I walked and walked. Alone.

When I finally reached the very top, (it looked more like a steeple than a mountain it was so pointy,) I was surprised to discover that there was an indentation that fit my bottom perfectly. I sat on this very convenient seat at the top of this mountain and noticed that I had a 360 degree view of the land around me. Yes, I could see my community slowly making their way with their heavy toboggans up the mountain. But again to my surprise, I could see other communities hiking up that mountain too. There were little pockets of peoples, from all different races and religions, climbing that mountain and none of them knew of the others making that same climb. The terrain might be different. The elements and the direction of the sun may be different but they were all making their way up the same mountain. It shocked me.

And then I got it.

The old man knew what he was talking about. This is the vantage point I was supposed to see. And I wouldn’t have got there had I clung to an outdated, inauthentic version of myself that ultimately served no one. I finally understood.

At that exact moment, an enormous, oversized white snowy owl flew up beside me. Hovering there at eye level, I realized with a start that it was the old man. Piercing me with those knowing eyes. His great wings silently flapping as he hung there staring at me. He held my eyes with a fierce intensity, making sure I understood the message. I took one more look down the mountain at all the peoples climbing their way and turned back to old man in owl form.

“I get it,” I said. “We all have our parts to play. And this is mine. I understand.”

The owl seemed to nod his head, blinked his eyes, and then flew off into the air and returned to our little community.

I woke up. Message received.

 

Looking back over my journey, I realize that walking an authentic path requires courage to be exactly who you are. There are so many rules to follow, and experts to obey that invite us to choose the collective’s approval over our own sovereign knowing. This is not a healthy system. It is backwards. Only when we discover  and express our true natures, can we share our authentic gifts with the world.

 

Individuals can stumble and veer off the authentic path as many times as needed. But leaders need to be more vigilant. Their journey is in the public eye. So I guess this blog is also an invitation to leaders or public figures of all kinds, who have not yet looked inward or done a thorough inventory of their words, behaviour and actions. Are you being authentically you? Has shame made you hide your light and do things that seem to overcompensate for something amiss? These times of isolation and profound fear-mongering, is a perfect time to do so and answer your own soul’s questions.

 

I thank you for listening and witnessing my stumbling path to authenticity.

Why Self-Care is Becoming the New Normal

At 35 years old, I got my first wake-up call about the need for Self-Care. I don’t mean the self-care with a small letter “s” and “c.” I mean the Self-Care with big, fat capital letters that scream at you from the four winds. I mean the kind of Self-Care that requires a total re-evaluation of how you operate in life and work. This was the kind of wake-up call that stopped me in my tracks.

Like most healthy 30-somethings, I felt pretty invincible. I was driven, determined, and successful in my acting and singing career. When I was exhausted, I pushed through it. When I was stressed, I drank, or slept in, or went for a massage. There was a frivolity and disassociation with pain in my body, because I was filled with passion and a drive to succeed.

This is what I saw in the women around me too. I was surrounded by driven, passionate, successful women who managed to secure positions of leadership by developing valuable management skills, work habits, and attitudes for success. All of these attributes were masculine in nature. In order for women to be successful within the masculine systems and structures of government, industry, law, academia, medicine, and entertainment, we had to fit in to the well-oiled machine.

Is Your Music Hurting or Serving You?

Many songwriters and makers of music have been evolving and taking responsibility for their creations. Today, however, I want to talk to the listeners of music.

If you are a listener of music, this message is for you.

We live in a pretty loud world. Sound stimulates and bombards us everywhere we go: TVs, construction noise, lawnmowers, neighbours yelling, and music. Music. Everywhere we turn, someone else's choice of music is being broadcast to our ears. You may say that all that sound just blends into the background of white noise, but if it is so benign and doesn't really have an affect, then why do you walk away singing a song that you didn't even know you heard. Why are you humming a tv commercial jingle that you hate?

I See You

Sometimes there is nothing more healing than just a simple acknowledgement of being seen for who you really are.

So I thought I would let you know that I SEE YOU today. I see you. I see the steps you take that build a beautiful journey. I see you.

Let me be the one to see you for all those who missed the opportunity to see the glory of you. Let me be the one to see you for all that you have done. For all that you have said. For all the beauty you have created. For the small changes you made that add up to enormous shifts. I see your triumphs. I see your challenges.

And I thank you.

You Are a Witness

You are living in a critical time in our history.  

A time that our Indigenous Elders are calling the Rise of the Sacred Feminine. A time of great rebalancing. When the masses awaken from a centuries old slumber. A time when the genocide and ecocide, that has been occurring for hundreds and hundreds of years, is no longer happening in the shadows.

You are alive during this time. And you are feeling that something is wrong.

You may or not be a victim of genocide, but you are most certainly a witness to the imbalance of power in this world. You have seen the violence, disempowerment, discrimination, and poverty that plagues the vulnerable in your own community. You are alive to witness it.


The Rise of Positive Music

There has always been positive, uplifting music. But did the songwriters of old intentionally write positive music to uplift themselves or to uplift others. Who knows? The modern day rise in positive music is all about promoting the well-being of the people. A decision to raise the consciousness of the ones who listen.

Positive music is not just a newly-created genre, it is an evolution in intention by songwriters everywhere. When once we musicians wrote about all our pain and suffering, now we choose to write about subjects that uplift and promote happiness. This is a major shift in consciousness.

There are many of you who are no longer interested in letting any old song be programmed into your brain. You don’t want songs of lust, greed, revenge, and victimhood affecting your emotional energy. You are beginning to guard the content that enters your field like a healthy person who watches their sugar intake.  

Tell the Truth

Tell the Truth

 

If you are like me, you probably think that you tell the truth; you consider yourself to be an honest person. Most of us do. But, when we scratch the surface a little, most of us participate in a form of socially acceptable lying. 

The Rise of the Sacred Feminine invites us to look at this behaviour with clear, forgiving eyes.

 

Telling the truth means being honest with others, but first we must be honest with ourselves. We must admit to ourselves that sometimes we lie to cover something up. To hide something from ourselves or others that we consider shameful. This lie is a defensive act. Before we even know what’s happening, we rush in to defend ourselves against some word, some action, or even some thought that we wish we could take back. Sometimes others do not know what on earth we are defending.

 

Play in Your Womb of Creation

Feeling uninspired in your work? Feeling a little shy of your financial goals? Unable to find peace in your relationship?

I have a little game I would like to share with you. It’s called “Playing in your Womb of Creation.”  Before we get to the game, I need to lay down some truths that the Patchwork Grandmothers have passed on. We must remember these simple truths:

 -      Human Beings are the masters (and caretakers) of the Earth Realm.

-      The Earth Realm is a creative realm, where all things originate in the Womb of Creation. 

-      The Womb of Creation is the dreaming place before things can be manifested in the Physical world. 

-      Human Beings are the Dreamers of the world. 

-      Know it or not, you are planting your dreams in the Womb of Creation every moment of your life. 

 Everything begins in the realm of the Sacred Feminine. In the silence, in the dreaming, through receptivity, through deep listening, and through allowance.

 

Are We Afraid of Silence?

I am a sensitive individual and its no secret that the Music Messengers was born to satisfy a need within me to build a gentler world where the noise level of our 21st century lifestyle is turned down a notch or two. Or three. And the subject matter of our thoughts, and musical creations, is dialled a degree or two towards the sunshine.

We have reached the highest point of chaos and I’m encouraging the pendulum to swing back the other way, at least back to centre.

 

Why have we grown so accustomed to loud music? When did it become acceptable to shout to be heard in retail shops, in restaurants, or even walking down a busy street? 

 

Are we so afraid of the silence that we’ve lost our ability to sit in it?

 

Why is Feminism a Bad Word

Why is Feminism a Bad Word?

 
Even though the world is experiencing this Rise of the Sacred Feminine, which means we are creating a world where all human beings are valued equally, there is still a fear of the word Feminism and a judgement towards women who declare themselves to be Feminists. 

This meme of the Dalai Lama, posted by SheKnows, conveys a very important message for our times. That it is okay to be both a feminist and a peacemaker. In fact, the Dalai Lama suggests it is necessary. That some things, like women’s rights, must be fought for. Equality is a human right worth fighting for.

But I understand the backlash. I get it.

Feminism came into being with a burst of rage. And rage can be scary.

Rage can also be Sacred.

Mission to Love Your SELF

There is a lot of baggage around the word “Self.” None of us want to be selfish, or self-sacrificing, and we certainly don’t want to be seen as self-centred. It is either bad to be selfish or good to be selfless.

 

Depending on where you are on the journey of Self-discovery, you may find that society’s expectations determines how you how you see your Self. Whether it is your religious training, or economic programming, or just something you adopted as truth along the way, I am on a mission to make everything about your Self good again. 


Connect to the Natural World

Today, I would like you to connect with the Natural World. Get outside. Get some sunshine on your face. Some raindrops in your hair. Some mud on your feet.

Because when you are out in Nature, you are free to breathe cleaner air. You are not bombarded by all the electronics in your home, or your office. Maybe most important of all, you are free to hear the higher messages from your Spirit. And your Spirit knows all about the freedom and peace you seek.

Sacred Warriors

With the encroachment of oil and gas companies on Indigenous territories; with the ever-growing number of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in Canada; and with the harsh realities that many Indigenous people still face in this country, I want to take the time to acknowledge the Sacred Warriors.

The Sacred Warriors are the vigilant educators, wisdom keepers, cultural advisors, peace makers, and activists, who are working to make our world a better place for all. Their empathy runs deep. Until all of Mother Earth’s children are taken care of, they feel no comfort in their minds or hearts. The Sacred Warriors work to wake us up. And they refuse to let the Canadian mass consciousness slip back into a forgetful slumber.

A Love Letter to Men

As someone who has immersed herself in the deep mystery of the Sacred Feminine and the Sacred Masculine, I’ve come to a place where I must stop and take a moment to give thanks.

Thanks to Men in particular.

To the Men in my life, and to Men in general.  Thank you.

Many of you came forth with loving arms, tender hearts, and strong shoulders when I needed you most. You rose up to say, “I’m sorry” when my Soul needed to hear that more than life itself. You took accountability for hurts that you did not commit just to bring healing to my heart. You helped me shine my Feminine Power and responded to its beauty. I am forever grateful.

So I want to return the favour.

The Year of the "Rise of the Sacred Feminine"

The Year of the "Rise of the Sacred Feminine"

I have named 2019 to be, “The Year of the Rise of the Sacred Feminine.” In truth, the rise of the Sacred Feminine has been going on for decades. I just think we should put words on paper about this shift from a Masculine-aligned world to one where both the Feminine and the Masculine principals are revered. The more we record our observations of a shifting paradigm, the more evidence will appear.

What is Feminine Leadership

As an expert in Feminine Leadership, I’ve been asked what exactly Feminine Leadership means. Of course, on first glance it seems to mean women in leadership, which of course it can mean. But that is not the full meaning.

Feminine leadership is another one of the 21st century leadership models emerging out of the old, hierarchical, top-down, control leadership model. Just like service leadership, Indigenous leadership, team, collaborative or mission-oriented leadership, Feminine leadership focuses on a well-rounded, healthier approach to business and community.